so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
you inspire me to be a worse person
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
