the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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