About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
