He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
