You can't special order awesome
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
