At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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