Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
