Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
