Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize