East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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