it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize