honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
