someone threw a dead crab at me
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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