She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Sext me about skeletons
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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