omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
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