There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my shit smells like andre
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
