Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
