Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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