We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
