he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
