Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
