This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
