They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
she pinky promised me she was 18
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Boobs are out for the taking
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
