You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
