Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
