Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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