haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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