I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i think i just lost a toe
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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