he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
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Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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