It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
