Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
