with your own penis?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i will never coherently bang her
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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