Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
