The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
