i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
