I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
