I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
