ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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