you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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