but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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