I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
