so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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