sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
