sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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