there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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