Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
