i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
