Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
