Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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