Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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