I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
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As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
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I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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