So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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