she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Are we still banned from the library?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
