Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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