Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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