I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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