trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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