You're completely useless in the revolution.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
