So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
