I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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