his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
it glows. i had to have it.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
