Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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