she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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