dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
