5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just google imaged poop.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
