What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
that is very illegal...i love you.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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