My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
