He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
