loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
