Your dad touched me again.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
